Sunday, March 3, 2013

Emotions...a little girl grown

I look at this photograph and know that I will always feel the emotions of Danielle's wedding day.
It was the day my last and final child was married. Relief, sadness, joy, exhaustion, happiness, pleasure, pain, and excitement all rolled into one candid photo of a mother and daughter.

This was my most difficult wedding...
maybe, because of timing, 
possibly, because it was harder to let go of my baby, 
likely, because all of our four children married within four & half years, 
assuredly, because creating the perfect wedding in 2 months is nigh to impossible
absolutely, because I will miss having her to myself. I will miss her needing me. I will miss the little girl I raised. I will miss the parts of me that were really part of her while she was mine.

There is no relationship more complicated than a mother and daughter. I think we expect our daughters to be everything we have always wished to be... We hope for the best while knowing that life will throw some breath taking punches. We long for their approval and all the while they long for ours.
We love, we resent, we serve, we love some more. We hear ourselves utter the same phrases to our daughters that we hated as teenagers. We eventually wake up one morning and say to the mirror "Good morning mother." We are the keepers of families, memories, and society...maybe that is why emotions are so tender at weddings. We see our little girls join the ranks of that mysterious person called a wife who most often then finds herself a mother, and the circle of life begins anew.

Which brings us back to the beginning and emotions about a little girl grown...
unavoidably, undeniably, unmistakably sweet and sad in one teary bundle called mom.

My youngest daughter Danielle
My mom Martha
My mom and I on my wedding day December 1982